A few days ago, my son in passing mentioned that I write a book. So I asked him, “what type of book?” He replied, “anything – you’re always writing”. I said to him, “hmmm I have an idea? Can I write about you? You be the main character of my story? I’m sure there’s an English …!” Before I finish the sentence, he goes, “it’s protagonist, mum, that’s the word you’re looking for”. Saved me from another session on google search 😅🤣
Anyway, little did he know that I had already compiled a few anecdotes from over the years in this blog – I just hadn’t found the time to publish it, until now😆! Anecdotes of what, one might ask??
Well, we know that kids all over the world say the darnedest things, don’t they? I’m sure everyone has delightful/ humorous tales to tell of experiences with their own tiny or not so tiny tots/ kids.
My husband and I have four of our own and they’re all grown up now, I can’t refer to them as kids anymore 🙂. We love them to bits, all four of them, even now they’re all grown up (one teenager and three young adults) with one of them already raising his own family!!
Moreover, now we have a grandchild, with whom we are so in love and awe of! And already have so many lovely experiences with her. But I’ll save those for another blog or book, maybe 🥰
For this round, it’s a collection of funny conversations with my children over the years, in particular with the one I’ve asked to be the protagonist in my ‘yet to be written’ book 😅🤞. Please read on for a good laugh. If not, that’s fine – but I do hope the stories at least bring smiles to your faces and brighten up your day 🙂!
I will follow the upward road today; I will keep my face to the light.
I will think high thoughts as I go my way; I will do what I know is right.
I will look for the flowers by the side of the road; I will laugh and love and be strong.
I will try to lighten another’s load this day as I fare along.
Mary S. Edgar
Thinking way, way ahead! (Apr’2011)
Master 6 (M6) is always thinking ahead, way ahead at times: one day he was asking questions like “mum, how old will I be in 2100? Will I still be alive? Will YOU still be alive??” And so on!! Mum’s like, “son, that’s a total of 89 years from now. Only God knows if any of us will still be alive then!”
At the time of writing this blog that’s 9 years down already, “ONLY” 80 more to go 😅🤣
Spelling bee #1! (Oct’2011)
M6: what’s the homophone of see? Mum: what’s that? M6: you know, a word that sounds the same as see but has another meaning!! Mum: okay, you tell me. M6: so easy, mum – it’s ‘sea’! Now, how about “one”? Mum: hmmm, let’s see *🤔 still thinking*, then M6 cuts in: this is so easy as well, mum, it’s ‘won’! *shaking his head in disbelief that mum does not know*… believe it or not, mum had to google the word (homophone) to get the spelling right!
Burpees! (Dec’2011)
Shown up by M6, yet again: one of his homework exercises – physical activity, had the question, how many burpees can you do in 10 secs and 30 secs? Mum googled burpees; after reading for a few minutes, she then tried to demonstrate to M6 & he goes “mum, I know what burpees are: we did them at boot camp!! And that’s not how you do a squat!!” He then goes on to demonstrate…oh dear me, is there anything that kids these days don’t know?!! 🙄😁😅
Dilemma! (Dec’2011)
M6 arrives home from school at 3pm and is asking for the time every fifteen or so minutes. By 5pm mum asks why and he goes, “it’s the school disco today, duh!” Mum: “You mean Year 6 disco, isn’t that for Year 6s only?” M6: “No! Well the Yr6s start @ 5.30pm and we join them @ 6.30pm! Oh, and can I have $5 for that, please mum?”… Not that mum did not know, she was just trying to trick him out of going! 🙂 they grow up too fast kids these days….!!!! 😁
Discus vs Discuss! (May 2012)
Dinner topic one night was about sports at school, mainly athletics and mum goes, “you know, I threw one or two discuses when I was in high school”. There were some eye rolls, clearing of throats, “yeah right, mum” etc and then master 12 pipes in “I know, mum, me too, I love discus – infact I can throw a lot of discussions here & there, I am pretty good at it” 😁😅😆 everyone burst out laughing at that point. Putting mum on the spot there, that one…
Moon head! (Apr’2012)
Masters 7 and 12 arguing heatedly in the car, not sure over what! M7 is quickly running out of things to say and getting really upset, because M12 is winning! Finally he goes: “yeah, well you have a moon on your head!!!”
😁😅…not sure what he meant and we did not want to ask him then. Mum did ask him much, much later and this is what he said “oh, he has moon eyes, moon ears, moon nose and so on” 🤣
Twit?! Or Tweet?! 🤔 (Jan’2012)
Social network affecting vocabulary and grammar. Part of a conversation with M6:
M6: mum, how do you spell tweet?
Mum: what’s that?
M6: you know birds singing?!
Mum: that’s easy, TWIT *twitter in mind of course*
M6: helloo?!!! It’s T.W.E.E.T (emphasing every letter)
Joys Of Parenting 21st Century Kids! (Oct’2012)
Stark contrast, what a seven year old is encouraged to discuss these days, to when I was 7 years old & growing up! With questions like, “What is carbon tax? Is it good or bad? Start with good, please.” 🙄🤔 Ehh, here I am, trying very hard to come to terms with understanding carbon tax & it’s implications, how am I suppose to explain it to a 7 year old!!!! And another, “Hey mum, what do you think about going to war?” I am like, “what kind of war are you talking about?” And he goes, “You know, sending soldiers to fight in Afghanistan and then some get killed…” oh my goodness!!! What do kids these days NOT know???
We are young 🎶 (Sep’2012)
In the car listening to the radio & the song we are young comes on. Mum starts singing the chorus & M7 pipes in from the back “you’re not that young, Mum, you shouldn’t sing this song!” Oh, don’t you just love the innocence, openness & honesty of a child 🙄😁😅🙂
You is… Like me!! (Jan’2012)
Master 7’s quoting a line from the movie/book “The Help”:
M7 to mum: ‘You is kind! You is smart! You is important! *mum’s all smiles and about to say thank you*, then he adds: ‘Like me’
🙄😁😅
LOL GP/hospital waiting room moments #1! (May 2013)
GP’s waiting room conversation between Masters 8 & 13:
M13: so would you marry a smart/ugly or dumb/ beautiful girl??
M8: smart & ugly
M13: why?
M8: so our kids can be smart, duh!!!
😄😄😄😄
Mother’s day card! (May 2013)
Must be doing something right in raising kids with good sense of humor. Here’s an exchange between Master 8 & I while sorting through Mother’s Day cards:
“M8: hey mum, look at this card I’m gonna get you this card – you’ll love it.
Me: what does it say?
M8 (reading out the card): From your son, they say giving birth kinda sucks. But you’ve got to admit I was worth it. (No pain, no gain! Thanks, Mum!) Happy Mother’s Day…” there were a few smiling shoppers around us that day 😀
Loud & proud (Dec’2013)
Master 8 has ‘mastered’ it so well 😁 While walking around in the mall – the boys were ahead, with mum following closely behind:
Mum (in motu): hey, daika e sidi?? (Who farted??)
M14: that was him *pointing at M8!!!*
M8: NO, it was you!!
M14: Stop lying!!
M8: nah, my farts are proud!!
Mum: excuse me?
M8: my farts are proud, mum!!
Mum & M14 (laughing so hard): so it was you then…
M8: NO! That was definitely not a proud fart…
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Xmas gifts! (Dec’2013)
Talking about Xmas gifts, so mum asks M8, ‘what are you getting for me?’
M8: a bracelet
Mum: hmm, that’s nice. Where you getting it?
M8: David Jones!
Mum: oh my, how are you getting it?
M8: buying it, of course.
Mum: oh really? Where you getting the money to buy the bracelet?
M8: I don’t know, somewhere *with huge innocent smile at me!* Ohhhh this child – always has to have the last say!!😄😅😆
Spelling bee #2 (Sep’2013)
Funny spelling moments with m8:
M8: mum, could you please test me with my spelling words?
Mum: sure I’ll test you.
Testing going on fine & six or so words into the list:
Mum: …this next word I can’t really pronounce, it goes B-O-U-G-H…
M8 starts laughing really loudly:
Mum (in motu): oibe lau okirikiri laigumu? (Why you laughing at me?)
M8: mum, it’s a spelling test. You’re not supposed to spell it to me
Mum: oh yeah, that’s right oooops
Both burst out into fits of laughter this time!! 😄😄😄
Don’t make bets with a 9yo! (Jun’2014)
Mum made a bet with M9, if he scores one try only, he’d do some chores for her over the week. Two or more tries, that would cost mum 10 dollars. He agrees, goes to his game & scores five! Like 5 tries that day! He comes home with a big grin, not just because of the win but to collect his windfall gain of $10. Just as well, it was not $10 per try 😅😁😆
Culture vs upbringing!! (Mar’2014)
Another one pulled out of M9’s hilarious quotes hat! Doesn’t beat around the bush, he calls it like he sees it!!
M9: hey mum it’s harmony day tomorrow. Can I take rice & ox&palm please?
😂😂😂😂
For those who don’t know what harmony day is “it’s a day of cultural respect for everyone who calls Australia home – from the traditional land owners to those who have come from many countries around the world”.
To mark the day, school kids are asked to dress in traditional clothes or take a traditional dish from their home countries. So yes I’ve fed my son too much rice & ox & palm for him to refer to them as traditional PNG food 😁😅
Making babies! (Mar’2014)
M9 is getting teased mercilessly by his older siblings regarding State of Origin & how his beloved Blues have not won a series his entire life (9 in a row etc). One of them suggested to him ‘…, you should start supporting the Maroons, when you do they will lose for sure’. He goes “Never!” Then he turns to mum & goes, “mum, can you have another baby and make sure he or she supports QLD? Maybe they’ll start losing then!!!!”
😂😂😂😂😂
My queen (Apr’2015)
M10 reminding mum of school disco (black/white theme) tomorrow:
Mum: oh dear, you don’t have any white clothes.
M10: I do, I have heaps!!!
Mum: how about black, don’t think you have any!!
M10: yes I do, have heaps of those as well.
Mum: how about $5?
M10: yep heaps as well!!
Mum: oh really, where do you keep your heaps of money?
M10: my Queen pointing at mum & then starts humming cheerleader tune!!
😂😂😂😂😂
Interrogation (Jul’2015)
Mstr 10 to big sis as soon as she arrives home from her 1st day @ uni:
M10: how was the 1st day?
Sis: it was sooo good.
M10: so did you meet anyone new, like boys?? 😂😂😂😂 oh hear me? Talk about interrogation. Now I understand why the sister decided to go to another state for university- to avoid little brother’s NOT mum’s interrogation 🤷😅😂🤣
LOL GP/hospital waiting room moments #2! (2016)
While walking through hospital corridoor to visit mum, M11 notices a sign and asks his big sister”hey, what does ICU stand for?” His sister replies, “why don’t you have a guess?” M11: is it In-care of University? 😅🤣🤣🤣
Can I have a little niece or nephew, please?! (2018)
Little brother to older sisters: can one of you get pregnant already, so I can have a little niece or nephew in this house? …😅😁😆🤣🤣 I’m pretty sure at the “mature” age of 13, he was getting tired of being referred to as ‘baby of the family’.
That’s it for now. I do hope one fine day, to take up on my son’s words and write a book.
Idau Hahine 